


Confused and Cloudy

by charlieboy



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: FCUK, M/M, also theres a vv brief mention of scars but its like one sentence, i was gonna make newt nonbinary and i hate myself for not doing it but, its already seven pages and i have a lot of hmwrk to do, its five am and i am dying, its rated t for mention of alcohol, so filled for macs dad, this is gay, this was also based on sunny lol, when charlie says his butt was so filled
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 06:39:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8361337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlieboy/pseuds/charlieboy
Summary: newt is drunk and hermann is just trying to finish some work. of course he isn't able to and they end up sleeping on the couch - but hermann is only doing it because of exhaustion. nothing else.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is v gay lmao
> 
> pls give me feedback - i started this awhile ago and just finished it now. lemme kno how the ending is bc i cant tell if i hate it or if it seems rushed ahhh; also im srry for grammar n shit, im awful but whtvs i hope its not too cringe worthy !!

It was late. Later than Hermann usually stayed in the lab but he was rushing to finish a paper so that he could possibly relax tomorrow. (As if he ever relaxed.)

Around two am, Newt stumbled in - looking confused. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he was wearing a black, faded Misfits shirt with a few rips here and there, and only had dinosaur boxer briefs. Newt sometimes would come into the lab like this, in a sleepy or possibly drunken stupor. A couple times he even came in high off pain meds he had stolen from Hermann, who now had to keep his medications in a hidden lock box that could only be opened by a secret physics equation. He usually came in looking for things he had left by accident or remembering he had another thing to add to his research and therefore had to interrupt whatever it was that he was engaged in - usually sleep, watching old godzilla movies, or occasionally reading comic books - to come back and add it quickly before forgetting. 

This time though, Newt was stumbling and muttering to himself - ‘Is he sleepwalking?’ Hermann thought, only half paying attention to his lab partners cloudy wandering. 

After slamming a few drawers, then moving to the top of his desk (aka a mountain of papers, notebooks, pens, pencils, etc,) Newt zoned out for a second and then remembered what it was he was looking for and decided to ask if Hermann had seen him leave it anywhere. ‘Hermann is, like, the most organised person probably in the whole galaxy’ Newt thought. 

“Hav-Have you seen my… My.. My phone charger? Man, have you ss-seen my phone charger?” Newt struggled to ask. Hermann hadn’t actually heard this, because Newt had barely whispered it to himself but didn’t realise it.

Newt suddenly stopped further messing up his already very disorganised desk, and stood there, staring at Hermann. When Hermann finally tore his eyes away from his writing, he looked up at Newt. He seemed really out of it this time, and Hermann got a chill up his spine.

“What?” Hermann questioned as he stood up, planning to go get some water for Newt. Just out of politeness, he didn’t actually care for the wild haired idiot.

 

Newt opened his mouth then paused and started to fiddle with his bracelets, looking at his shoes. Hermann decided to wait to hear what Newt had to say before getting water - it was a very rare occasion that Newt would have trouble speaking his mind. 

Still fiddling with his bracelets and looking at his shoes, Newt quietly muttered something to himself. He then turned quickly on the ball of his foot and wobbly half jogged to the couch in the back of the lab. Hermann took this opportunity to get water really quickly, and some tissues. 

The tissues would let Hermann keep things clean from a distance. He would hate to have to hug Newt to keep things clean - Newt might think he was trying to comfort him or something. That would be unprofessional, not to mention Newt probably blowing out his ear drums from being so close and his annoying freckled face would be pink, contrasting with his bright passionate green eyes..

Hermann practically ran back careful not to spill the water and shaking his very tired head, wishing this would be over soon so he could sleep and be back in his regular mindset, focused on work and work only. 

Newt was sniffling and wiping his nose on his hand, tears wetting his face and shirt. He was slumped in on himself, his legs in a criss cross position. His glasses were fogged up a bit. Hermann sat next to him carefully, not too close, and handed Newt the tissues. Hermann then placed the water on the floor so that it wouldn’t be knocked over by the clumsy biologist.

Hermann signed, even though he was less aggravated and more worried. Worried about losing his train of thought for his paper. He would never worry about Newt. Newt could take care of himself on his own. He didn’t need Hermann and Hermann didn’t need him. That was their professional relationship that Hermann preferred and certainly didn’t overthink. 

“What were you going to say Newton,” Hermann was looking at the side of Newts face. Newt decided to tear tiny pieces of the tissue instead of using it to blow his nose. Another frustrating mess Hermann would make him clean up later.

Newt lifted his head and glanced at Hermann for just a moment, almost smiling, then looked back down at his lap, half filled with anxiety driven tissue confetti. He sniffled again and then finally said, “I’m so gay dude. So gay. So gay for you.” And then Newt started to laugh but was also crying at the same time, hands shaking uncontrollably.

Hermann's cheeks turned beet red immediately and his eyes widened. 

“Newton, are you drunk right now?” he tried to ask calmly, telling himself he was just feeling bad for his colleague. Never in a million years would he care about what was just confessed. 

“Yeah man! I could never tel-tell you that shit sober dude,” Newts breathing was becoming sporadic so Hermann reached down and got the water, handing it to Newt. Newt took the water with still trembling hands and barely sipped it, still refusing to look at Hermann.

“Newton, you’re just drunk, lets get you to b--”

“--Dude I’m not! I mean like, ye-yes I, I am, but no. Herms list-listen to me” Newt was now looking at Hermann, looking a lot more hysterical than he usually was. Hermann hated being called that ridiculous nickname, but felt a small pang of sadness (though he refused to admit that to himself.)

“I’ve like, dude, I-I’ve like, loved you. Loved you since we first started writing to each other and then we m-met and man, I can’t describe, I can’t describe how I felt. You were so cute but also hot and handsome a-and so fucking smart, and I knew all I wanted w-was to pick your brain and, and hang out with y-you. I was so.. honoured, that I was going to work with you, even though you fucking laughed at me when you first realised I was m-me” Newt was looking at his lap again and his tears were a regular stream at this point. Thankfully, he finally used the tissue to wipe his nose (awkwardly one handed because he was still holding the water.) 

Hermann was physically taken aback. Maybe all those ‘little jokes’ Newt had made to Hermann about his appearance and smarts were… Compliments? Newton's attempt at flirting? ‘But no,’ Hermann thought, ‘this is another joke. Newton's tired and decided to make a funny joke whilst he’s drunk. The fake tears are a bit excessive, but then again, when has Newton ever not been dramatic.’

Hermann was then jolted out of his thinking, back into reality quite violently when Newt suddenly clung onto Hermann's waist. Luckily Newt was sober enough to be careful not to lean on his hip/leg. His face was huddled into Hermann's slender neck - wet and a little bit snotty. 

Hermann's first reaction was to try and escape but Newt held on as if Hermann was his lifeline to stay alive. 

“Newton, please” Hermann said, still trying to shimmy out of the death like grasp. As a response, Newt started to cry harder, his whole body shaking. 

Hermann noticed the water was spilt on the floor. ‘Of course,’ he thought, rolling his eyes.

He debated whether or not it would be too much to just, comfort Newton for tonight. Because he was drunk and Hermann so desperately wanted to sleep, which he currently was unable to do because of Newton. He came to the conclusion that yes, it would be fine this once. Newton probably wouldn’t remember, and Hermann would finally be able to sleep. 

Without saying anything, Hermann now shifted to face Newts small, shivering frame. He didn’t have many options because Newt letting go of his torso was out of the question. 

Hermann adjusted them both into a lying down position, ‘not cuddling because this is just to get some sleep’ Hermann reminded himself. Hermann was on his back, left arm around Newts shoulder and gently petting his hair in attempt to be soothing. Hermann had tried to lean his cane on the couch arm but it had fallen to the floor with a light tink sound. His left arm was now resting on Newts arm and subconsciously he began tracing patterns as he simultaneously stroked his out of control hair. 

“I-I’m sorry Herms, man I’m sorry for, for everything and--”

Hermann cut him off by shushing him, “just lie here and try to sleep. We both need to sleep.”

He felt Newt gently smile for a second against the crook of his neck as he continued to sniffle accompanied by streams of tears. His breathing was calmer than before and it felt hot on Hermann's chilled skin. 

Newt sighed and snuggled close to Hermann and put his leg on top of Hermann's leg. ‘This is just to save space. The only reason this is okay is to conserve space on this damn small couch.’ Hermann continued to think. He kept petting Newts hair and drawing patterns on Newts arm.

 

They lay there for about ten minutes before the silence was broken by a whisper, “Night Herms. Love you.” Newt then immediately fell asleep. 

Only now did Hermann notice the smell of horrible vodka on his breath and the small scars from past piercings? On Newts nose and lip; he also noticed the many scattered freckles all over his cheeks and nose. Other past scars could be seen beneath the tattoos, a little bit raised and the colour was the tiniest bit lighter. The vibrant kaiju lulled Hermann to sleep as he traced the solid lines over and over. 

He was overly exhausted and hoped he had dreamt about himself whispering back “Goodnight Newton, love you too”. It had to be a dream. This tiny, loud, warm, soft scientist who bickered with practically everything Hermann said - he could never actually have feelings for. That was in fact, out of the equation. Of course he hadn’t ever made an equation. Because he didn’t feel anything for the man clutching his side with his leg wrapped around Hermann's. They were only laying like this simply because Newt was drunk, Hermann was exhausted, and this couch was only big enough for some sort of cuddling position. ‘Even though this isn’t cuddling, clearly’ Hermann assured himself. 

 

They both woke up with Newt mostly on top of Hermann. Hermann was jarred awake from pain in his leg, which woke up Newt.

After trying to wrestle away from Newt, he was caught by the arm weakly. 

“Wait man, what happened,” Newt asked, rubbing his eye with his palm and wincing at an intense hangover headache. 

Hermann huffed and rolled his eyes, pain making him annoyed before he was even completely awake. He was trying to massage his leg a bit and Newt noticed.

“Lemme help--”

“No Newton you’ve done enough!” Hermann snapped. “You want to know what happened? You were very irresponsibly inebriated, stumbling into the lab, looking for something idiotic you left in your mess. You were crying and came and sat down and I sat with you to give you tissues so that you didn’t make a mess like you always do, but of course you still managed to.” Hermann was rubbing his leg with one hand and rubbing his neck that was now sticky with old tears and some sleep drool.

“You grabbed onto me and refused to let go - all I wanted was to sleep at that point but like always, I was unable because of another one of your moronic decisions. You just had to come in here and disturb me when I was trying to finish my papers. I was fed up and just laid down and slept there because I don’t imagine I would be freed anytime soon, and clearly you fell asleep too, crushing me and agitating my leg.” Hermann took a deep breath in. 

“Did I… What did I say last night?” Newt asked, ignoring Hermann's angry rant. His brain was starting to slowly put last night’s pieces together

“What? A lot of things, I don’t know! Nothing important, otherwise one of us would have remembered.” Hermann immediately regretted the last sentence and hoped it wouldn’t shake loose any drunken memory of the previous night. Of course, luck wasn’t on his side.

“Wait shit, I came in here and pretended I lost my phone charger and um. Did I come out to you?” Newt asked, a bit panicked. 

Hermann sighed. He was too tired to lie. “In a way, yes.” Newt grimaced at this answer. 

“Uhh… Did I happen to elaborate on that? In any way?”

“Newton you confessed to me that you are, and I quote, ‘so gay’ for me.” Hermann kept a stone face and focused on massaging his leg muscles.

Newts eyes got big. He fake chuckled, “I knew I shouldn’t have drank - I, I’m sorry man, I wasn’t trying to like, make things weird and uh, I hope you’re not um. Uncomfortable now, uhh… How did you--what do you want to do about um, this?” Newt was jiggling his leg and blushing a lot. Trying to hide behind his glasses’ thick frames.

“Newton, I want to finish my paper and then perhaps take a nap, as I clearly didn’t sleep properly last night, being half choked to death. Please clean up these tissue pieces and water you so gracefully spilled.” Hermann grabbed his cane from the floor and started to walk to their coffee maker to make some much needed tea.

“Wait Herms - does that mean we’re um, cool? Like uh, was that… Did you? Jesus, you’re probably going to say no but I have a splitting headache and fuck it I’m just gonna ask: did you like, enjoy that? The sleeping together and stuff? Not sleeping together, I mean I’m pretty sure we didn’t fuck--wait--nevermind, that’s not.. You wouldn’t.. Ah goddamnit. Would you ah, wanna do it again sometime? I need a nap too, my head is killing me but um, it’d be uh, pretty cool if you wanted to like, join me or something…” Newt was on his knees and had started picking up tissue pieces he had ripped the night before, but had paused and was just looking at Hermann. His blush was almost heating up his glasses to the point of fogging them. His hands seemed to be shaking again. He rubbed the back of his neck, “Herms?”

“Newton I’ve told you, do not call me that. And. Y--yes. Yes, that might be nice. If you don’t bloody crush me again.” Hermann stuttered as he squeezed his eyes tight and gripped his earl gray tea bag a bit too tightly.

There was a heavy silence that hung in the air before Newt finally processed Hermann's answer.

“Shit, you’ll nap with me? Oh fuc- dude um thank you that’d be, that’d be fantastic. Do you wanna go like, like now?” Newt was still frozen in the same position. His heart was beating so rapidly he thought it might be going at the same pace as a mouses. He probably would’ve fainted if he wasn’t so hungover. 

“I’m making my tea, and finish cleaning up that mess, then we can. Nap. I suppose.” Hermann's voice was softer although he was furrowing his eyebrows. He was trying to keep calm by concentrating on making a cup of tea - part of his daily routine. 

 

Hermann was ignoring what was currently happening and how, for once, he was going to do what he felt, and not overthink it.

Newts heart skipped a beat as he rushed to clean up the mess. The blush left his face, and so did the blood in his head, making his headache worse but he didn’t care. He thanked his drunk self many times before finally standing back up and running to the trashcan to throw the tissue and small paper cup away. He quickly grabbed a few paper towels, not looking at Hermann, and ran back to the puddle to finish cleaning. 

Hermann sipped his tea still facing their coffee maker. He wasn’t able to look at Newt yet. He didn’t think eye contact for awhile would be a good idea. They were professionals. This would be strictly platonic. 

The tiny thought of what Hermann may or may not have whispered to Newt before he fell asleep crossed his mind, before he strode out of the lab swiftly, Newt jogging to catch up behind him.


End file.
